The Inevitable...

I realize I don't live in a bubble where I can keep my children tiny forever. I know they will grow up and I love watching them do that. However, it is really hard. A lot harder than I thought it would be.

You know I'm struggling with sending Big Sis off to MDO in a couple of weeks. I'm so excited for her but I still have a hard time "believing" that she is old enough to carry a backpack and a lunchbox and be taught by someone other than me. I'm working on getting over my sadness and emotions. I still have a couple of weeks to get there. Or so I thought.

We walked into church this morning. We haven't been in a couple of weeks as we have been out of town and then last Sunday we had the fever which kept us home. So today we walked in and signed the kids in and started down the hallway to their rooms....

Then the Children's Director stopped us outside of Big Sis's room and asked us if Little Sis is walking well. We told her she was and she said she needed to move up into the room we were standing in front of. Big Sis's Room? Hubs and I looked at each other and then we looked at the security tags and noticed that Big Sis had moved up to the next classroom too. WHAT? I had to choke back tears.... she's my baby, she should be in the baby room, or at least the little toddlers' room. But no.

Somehow in the past month or so she has gone from being my little girl to being a for real big girl. How did I let this happen. And I'm so torn in my emotions because I know what a blessing it is to watch her grow up and to be a part of it. I know that there are mothers out there who don't get to experience that and my heart breaks daily for these women. I am truly happy for her and all her "growing up" and big girl things. She is such an amazing little girl and I am incredibly proud to be her mother. But to me she should still be this tiny...

She should still be my 5 pound baby that I spent endless hours holding and praying over. She is such a joy to us and we love her more each day. I never knew this kind of love was possible until she was born and being a mother to her and Little Sis and now the new baby has been the most incredible blessing.

I am still emotional about everything but the husband has been so supportive. I looked at him this morning and said "this is the first time in 2 1/2 years that we haven't had a child in the baby room at church" to which he replied "it's just for a little while, we'll have one in there in a couple of months!"

I know children grow up but sometimes I wish I could control it... let's be honest, I wish I could control a heck of a lot more in my life than I can. But since I can't control it, I'm trying to embrace it. And thankfully my baby girl is so excited that it is hard for me not to join in her excitement. Hopefully this week I'll have some pics of some of her "school" goodies. She loves them all so much!

Hoping we all have a wonderful week...