That's What Friends Are For....

I LOVE that song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtGF2m102Wg

Friendship is something I really struggled with last year. I just read that sentence and it sounds completely silly. But it is true. 

All my life I've never had a problem making friends. I've easily made friends in every stage of my life. In fact, I've never really had a falling out with any of my friends. Of course, there are people I still talk to on a semi-regular basis but most of my friends and I don't really see each other or talk anymore. That said, I know that if we ever ran into each other that we would be able to sit and chat for hours. 

Recently, I've found there has been a little emptiness in my heart. After spending much time praying and trying to figure out where this bit of sadness was coming from I realized that it was because I really didn't have any friends. Ok.... not exactly true. Maybe it wasn't so much that I was missing friends, but that I was missing out on meaningful friendships.

Once I realized that I was missing out on friendships it was time for me to figure out how to find these friendships. Seriously, this is new territory for me. I've spent the past 4 years at home every day with my children. On almost all of those days, the only adult interaction I have is with Jared when he comes home from work. I love him dearly, but it just wasn't enough. I needed something for me (not in a selfish way, but in a way that helps me grow emotionally and spiritually).

I decided to re-join the Ladies' Group I was in when shortly after we were married (I had to stop going because of babies and Jared's wacky work schedule). I knew it was going to require a commitment from ALL of us for me to go - but Jared and I both agreed that I needed it. They are a wonderful group of women who love the Lord and I love them all dearly.

I've also started getting together with my S-I-L, Jill, for our daughters to play (as often as we can). We both agree that we may need those playdates more than our girls do. It's a win-win, really. 

And then, just like clockwork.... here comes the attacks of the devil. I started feeling like I was upsetting my girls by leaving them every other Monday night for group. I started feeling like no one really wanted to be my friend because I don't really have anything to offer a friendship - my kids and husband take up nearly all of my time, so what was left for me to share with a friend? I started feeling like I didn't really belong with these women. I could go on and on.... but, you get the picture. Attack. Attack. Attack. 

Through many tears and prayers I got past the worst of those attacks. God is so good! I've realized that I can be a friend. What I have to offer a friendship is me - nothing more or less. I have to ease up on the pressure I put on myself to be the "perfect" friend all the time. Is there such a thing as the perfect friend? Ha! And the truth is (and this is hard for me to accept sometimes) that there are people who actually want to be friends with just me. No pretending, no facades, just me. Humbling.

Here is what I know now:

• I need friendships. We all do.
• I have great friends from my childhood that I may not see regularly, but we will always be there for each other. Our friendships will change and evolve as our lives do and that's ok. 
• I have an amazing group of women in my Ladies' Group that I am honored to call my friends. I love each of them and I'm excited about growing our friendships as we continue to spend time together. These ladies are very special and God is using them to help me in so many ways. 
• I am so blessed to have so many women in my family that I can call my friends. 
• Jared and I are working on doing things with other couples. And I can honestly say that some of my favorite moments of the past few months were made with some couples that we love. 

I plan to do as much as possible from now on to grow my friendships. I have realized how important it is in my life and I will do everything I can to keep from letting go of my friendships. If you are reading this and you are one of my cherished friends, know that you mean so much to me. And if you are reading this and you feel like you need a friend, email me. 

I'll leave you with another video..... perhaps my FAVORITE friendship song of all time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXttyNf8zv0  I can't tell you how many hours my sister and I spent singing this song together. It's like someone took our relationship and wrote it into a song. Love. And can I just add that I miss Whitney Houston. The girl could SING!